Wednesday, October 24, 2012

"Please look alive when reading bedtime stories. Pretend Facebook is watching. "

Tell me you are checking/following the Honest Toddler on Twitter

A sampling of the wit...

  • Toddler Tip: Angry whisper has no power when you're in public. Carry on.
  • "I can't carry you, the bags, and push the stroller." That sounds like a personal problem. Up please.
  • I can tell when you're cursing at me in your mind. I want you to know that.
  • "The pajamas you want are dirty." Oh no! If only we had a WASHER AND DRYER. I'll wait.
  • Felt like her phone was coming between us. Took out the battery and put it in a safe place.
  • Wow somebody put her phone in the dishwasher. Now it has damages. I didn't get a good look but I did see an infant fleeing the scene.
  • Hi daddy I just wanted to let you know that you are my favorite parent. Thank you for never jumping to conclusions like some people.
  • I didn't mean that, Santa. I'm sorry. Just so hungry. We're out of fruit snacks again and I'm left with just real fruit.
  • "Did you hear me?' I dunno...I guess way deep down...
  • Either my bedtime story was actually about fried rice and wonton soup or daddy just read me a Chinese food menu. :(

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