Tell me you are checking/following the Honest Toddler on Twitter
A sampling of the wit...
- Toddler Tip: Angry whisper has no power when you're in public. Carry on.
- "I can't carry you, the bags, and push the stroller." That sounds like a personal problem. Up please.
- I can tell when you're cursing at me in your mind. I want you to know that.
- "The pajamas you want are dirty." Oh no! If only we had a WASHER AND DRYER. I'll wait.
- Felt like her phone was coming between us. Took out the battery and put it in a safe place.
- Wow somebody put her phone in the dishwasher. Now it has damages. I didn't get a good look but I did see an infant fleeing the scene.
- Hi daddy I just wanted to let you know that you are my favorite parent. Thank you for never jumping to conclusions like some people.
- I didn't mean that, Santa. I'm sorry. Just so hungry. We're out of fruit snacks again and I'm left with just real fruit.
- "Did you hear me?' I dunno...I guess way deep down...
- Either my bedtime story was actually about fried rice and wonton soup or daddy just read me a Chinese food menu. :(